woooo, it's been a while since i posted something again. haha. too much going on all the time. damn money isn't easy earned. anyways, i recently just watched this and in all it's simplicity, it was brilliantly executed. heart warming and sweet in intonation. :) enjoy....
it's one of those days when i can't seem to bring myself to smile. recently i'm just a little more edgier. i guess i just got lost being someone else. i left myself behind, somewhere along the way. kinda hoping that i'll get back to myself some day. there will come a time when i will see quieter days. these will come to pass. at least not for now.
i don't know how people do relationships, love and all that bollocks. yea yea, even ol' joey needs a little loving. but it's just too much complication. from where i stand, i'm good. i'm complete. always have been. not willing to put my heart in fragile hands. not even mine. at least not for now.
here's a thought though. why don't the world revolve around me? at least not for now.
i'll have to deal with now.
i'm in chennai, india. the centre of tamil movies. beautiful place, dusty though. food's great, but i dunno, my tummy is working up ever since i got here. damn it. what to do, i'm a damn chinese. can't ever get use to the food and water i reckon. it's been raining shit, literally. exhausted. so not funny. do you know what its like shitting like you are peeing. and no, micky, roti canai isn't discovered in chennai. haha. silly me. i actually believed you. there is everything else except, canai!!! haha.
feels weird getting stared at all the time here. it's so bad, people stop at their tracks to stare at me. and you know it ain't well receive when they've got that OMFG look on their faces. i guess it's like having an indian in china. for obvious reasons. and i think i confuse them even more with the colours on my body. haha.
traffic here is insane!! LOL... i don't think anyone here ever learned to drive. nobody gives a shit. haha. and the honking. i think can pretty much measure up with jakarta. can't even sleep in peace. the honking just goes on and on... the funny thing is, why even bother honking when nobody gives a shit. i honk, you honk, i dont give a shit, you dont give a shit. what a beautiful world. haha. i doubt i'll be able to drive here. too chicken shit to even cross the road.
been on a tight schedule ever since i landed, but it's great to meet the people i've met. tamil directors and actors. :) i'm not familiar with their work though, but neither are they with mine. haha.
ya ya, it's been a while since i wrote something. what to do. ain't much of a writer in me. ain't much of a blogger too to begin with. hate writing, in our modern case, typing. haha.
i wanna go home. i miss it. i'm war na cumming baby!! hahaha...
omg, there's a new member in the family. her name is Ashleigh. just this morning! fresh from the, er~ anyways, going over to the hospital soon. so excited. what a way to start off the new year. welcome my dearest Ashleigh. you are so gonna be spoilt. haha~
omg, a gay friend of mine recently told me that he enjoys hanging out in male public toilets. urgh~ i really don't wanna imagine. -_-"
anyways, kong hei fatt choy ppl!!! okbai...
"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should" ~ dixie chicks
i stole this off a friend's blog. haha. sorry ya hushie. :P
it has been a week since i last smoke. i mean to actually inhale a whole fucking stick. i don't know if it's a psychological thing but after the treatment, i could never bring myself to finish one stick. i tried, i really did.
and i loved the idea of smoking, damn it. haha. initially, i opted to go for the treatment 'cos we all know how smoking will eventually take a toll on your physical health, but in all honesty, i have always confided in cigarettes. it was there through my ups and downs. haha. maybe mentally, i'm not prepared, but i'm kinda feeling it after almost 2 decades of being a chimney. haha.
cheong and I, with great encouragement and support from hannah and reymee, decided to take that bold step last week. it was tough initially. it's just too much of a mental mindfuck struggle. especially when i enjoyed smoking, haha.
cheong is doing so much better than I. I'm at this transition and it's even harder at this point. at this current stage, i feel lousy when people around me is smoking and i'm just dying for a stick, but when i actually take one, i can't never bring myself to finish it after a puff or 2. weird huh. haha.
so far, this time around, i actually feel like puking after a few puffs. haha. i sure hope this last, and it's not just another attempt in trying to quit. but if i ever do go back to it, oh well, haha... it was fun while it lasted. haha.
i think i'll celebrate this and congratulate myself by smoking a stick. haha. nah, kidding. worth the laugh though. the irony. LOL.
is my doctor hot or what? haha...who wouldn't wanna quit smoking with a doctor like that?
i kinda like the 2nd generation mazda 6. haha. in comparison with the camry and the accord.:) hmm~ i likes. it's a little smaller than both the other comparisons though, but it sure hell looks better. besides, every tom dick and harry out there is driving a camry or an accord. haha. not exactly my dream car, but if i'm gonna have to change a car and spend another 5-7 years of committing in an instalment plan, i'd rather something like that.
this is the front,rear and side exterior profile of it. sexay and hot isn't it. haha.
this year's resolution is not to have any resolutions! i'm pretty sure this year i'll be able to achieve my resolution. haha.
happy new year to everyone!! i hope you all had a blast. i just chilled my night. haha. after living for 30 years, the new year's kinda lose its reasons for celebrating and partying. i mean, there's always another year ahead, and after a few decades, it's kinda senseless and superficial. i'd rather have some personal quality time, or just to have some catching up time with really close ones. things that are more worthwhile la if you know what i mean.
erm, let's reminisce and do a recap before we move forward. haha. last year was just amazing! yes, i'm being cynical. LOL. been helluva ride, it's like watching a movie fast forwarded. and i've certainly learned much throughout. especially on people, trust, and other matters of the heart. i'd like to believe that i have a strong heart, and i really thank God that i can actually afford these lessons; emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.
but it's my doing la. i saw it coming even much before. i allowed it given the time. not anymore.
i wanna thank some for making me the sceptic these days. they taught me how to hold back and contain. :) i'm prepared to walk the road ahead now. the one thing i like about getting hurt too often, you move on much faster and better the more you get it. haha~
guess cyndi lauper was right, time after time.
OMG this song's story is damn power. i get the chills and almost in tears everytime i hear the song. maybe i am more girl than guy anyways. lol. and the note i'm dedicating to you. *wink.
hannah's taking me to some acupuncture thing for my very own personal taknak! campaign. LOL. let's see how effective it goes. :D
merry christmas and a happy new year to all of you!
leaving everything behind in 2008, moving on and starting clean with 2009. it's gonna be a great year!
we were at Le Meridien last friday for the KLDW(KL Design Week) press conference. its gonna be interesting! we were honoured to be given the opportunity to be speaking and sharing among some global peers. Come and immerse yourself in the experience of all things design related at KLDW09 and be enriched, challenged and inspired by creativity. haha. come support the movement. it'll be fun.~ acclaimed international designers such as Chris Bosse, Stefan Sagmeister, Aya Kato, David Carson, Kuntzel+Deygas, Troika, IDN, Shun Kawakami, Tokyo Plastic, Studio4˚c, Jl design and Umeric amongst others will be there. cools!!
woo~ we even had a little bit of time to cam whore. michelle and kai took these pictures. haha. yesh yesh, not shy as usual. LOL.
MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!!! in case i dont post anything by then. LOL. yay yay!!
i really don't wanna hear what you have to say anymore, but i have a few things to say to you for closure. if not we'll be in this limbo for a while. i'm sure you'll be reading this, and this is a good way to say what i need to say without hesitation. a chance for you to understand and reason, maybe?~ i'm sure this is a bit embarrassing as well for me, as the whole damn world will be reading this and giving me their 2 cents. oh well.
i'm really not frustrated anymore, i'm just a little exhausted. like i keep asking you, what do you really want from me?
it's been a while since i saw you, and believe me, i miss you so much it really hurts. your smell lingers in the room. i miss the occasional moments when you pull me closer. the intimacy we shared which i know is genuine at times. that little twitch and pout when you frown, the snoring(as much as it's annoying), and the list goes on. in all honestly, i'm attracted to the way you are. simple, sweet, and very much sincere in many ways. unlike some women i've dated before, you are not spiteful. and there are times when i thought we could have been so much more.
but haven't you gotten it until now, we've passed that. these compliments a relationship but it doesn't build it. we both aren't as young anymore to afford an impulsive-casual-feel good-relationship.
you will never change, even for us. well, not now at least. and i reckon i dun wanna wait and hope that you do. you kept on reminding me that you are like that. well, i'm telling you now that i'm not like that? then how? you expect me to just settle for that? i didn't let us go. you did. i just made it official and save us both the headaches. in fact, i held on to it as much as i could in hope that maybe you just need a little encouragement and faith from someone you truly would like to be with. how many times have i told you that i can't do this alone. it's so obvious that you seek 'social attention'. understandable. most people would love that too, but you go to extreme measures to keep your 'market' open.
let's not complicate it further with emotions. let me break it down for you. it's really that simple leh. something's gotta give, right or not. either this or that. and i have given you and myself the time to evaluate the choice. your actions justified it. and all i can tell myself is that i have tried, given the time and space to the best i could. i have never given you ultimatums or to make you choose unreasonably between your social friends and I, but how can I, anyone or even you for that matter, be with someone who parties 3-4 times a week, gets drunk or high most of the nights, expects only to be seen when you deem fit. we hardly even share or do anything together. we only do what you wanna do.
it's much easier if you'd just admit that you are playful, irresponsible, self-centred, selfish. you'd think that people is hurting and doing things to you, but you'll never open yourself to see how you affect the people that truly cares for you.
don't you see it, it's not like i'm doing anything to you. i have to walk away. it's not my choice. i would really want to make it work, but not like this. it'll be redundant and foolish. so you see, the answers are all on your end. so stop coming to me for them.
you kept reminding me not to expect anything from you and we should not prioritize our relationship. i'm finally doing just that lor. the good part is that i don't need you to change edi. :) i'm cool with it k. don't worry, it's just feelings. it'll pass. you and I will find someone else. i am just sharing with you so at least you know why it has come to this. whatever you do here on is your own to decide.
and just to answer your question with fate and the song you sent me, i agree that fate brings 2 people together. it's called chance. however, to stay and making it work or even to walk away is our choice. and what?~ you are hoping fate makes it beautiful for you? no, that was me.
hmm, i reckon since i'm gonna try getting back at this, and my 'all new' ain't that new no more leh. it's about time i get a facelift. or this is good? amacam you think? *scratch head. i really like this, but takkan lidat all the time meh? change is inevitable ma right or not. *wink.
OMG, 2 posts in the same day, i must be more enthusiastic about this than i thought. haha.
i heard once from a great friend, change comes to us all and change is inevitable. but OMG, you know what, some people just won't change!!! haha. good for you sweetie. just when i thought i might have made a mistake, you go and prove me(everyone else too) right! LOL. you just made it so much easier for me. haha. whatever. i'm so done. okbai.
