woooo, it's been a while since i posted something again. haha. too much going on all the time. damn money isn't easy earned. anyways, i recently just watched this and in all it's simplicity, it was brilliantly executed. heart warming and sweet in intonation. :) enjoy....


not for now

it's one of those days when i can't seem to bring myself to smile. recently i'm just a little more edgier. i guess i just got lost being someone else. i left myself behind, somewhere along the way. kinda hoping that i'll get back to myself some day. there will come a time when i will see quieter days. these will come to pass. at least not for now.

i don't know how people do relationships, love and all that bollocks. yea yea, even ol' joey needs a little loving. but it's just too much complication. from where i stand, i'm good. i'm complete. always have been. not willing to put my heart in fragile hands. not even mine. at least not for now.

here's a thought though. why don't the world revolve around me? at least not for now.

i'll have to deal with now.


here i 'war na cum'

i'm in chennai, india. the centre of tamil movies. beautiful place, dusty though. food's great, but i dunno, my tummy is working up ever since i got here. damn it. what to do, i'm a damn chinese. can't ever get use to the food and water i reckon. it's been raining shit, literally. exhausted. so not funny. do you know what its like shitting like you are peeing. and no, micky, roti canai isn't discovered in chennai. haha. silly me. i actually believed you. there is everything else except, canai!!! haha.

feels weird getting stared at all the time here. it's so bad, people stop at their tracks to stare at me. and you know it ain't well receive when they've got that OMFG look on their faces. i guess it's like having an indian in china. for obvious reasons. and i think i confuse them even more with the colours on my body. haha.

traffic here is insane!! LOL... i don't think anyone here ever learned to drive. nobody gives a shit. haha. and the honking. i think can pretty much measure up with jakarta. can't even sleep in peace. the honking just goes on and on... the funny thing is, why even bother honking when nobody gives a shit. i honk, you honk, i dont give a shit, you dont give a shit. what a beautiful world. haha. i doubt i'll be able to drive here. too chicken shit to even cross the road.

been on a tight schedule ever since i landed, but it's great to meet the people i've met. tamil directors and actors. :) i'm not familiar with their work though, but neither are they with mine. haha.

ya ya, it's been a while since i wrote something. what to do. ain't much of a writer in me. ain't much of a blogger too to begin with. hate writing, in our modern case, typing. haha.

i wanna go home. i miss it. i'm war na cumming baby!! hahaha...


sweet baby

omg, there's a new member in the family. her name is Ashleigh. just this morning! fresh from the, er~ anyways, going over to the hospital soon. so excited. what a way to start off the new year. welcome my dearest Ashleigh. you are so gonna be spoilt. haha~



omg, a gay friend of mine recently told me that he enjoys hanging out in male public toilets. urgh~ i really don't wanna imagine. -_-"

anyways, kong hei fatt choy ppl!!! okbai...


i feel like a rockstar! :D


making nice

"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could

'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should" ~ dixie chicks



i stole this off a friend's blog. haha. sorry ya hushie. :P

"Forgiveness does not change the Past,
but it does enlarge the Future"

- Paul Boese

in all honestly, i'm still trying to forgive. i still can't bring myself to. it's something i really have to learn la for my own sake. what happens if i really enjoy hating her? and to know she has no remorse just makes it feels so right and good. like it gives me a visa on my passport.

never could get the hang of it.


it has been a week since i last smoke. i mean to actually inhale a whole fucking stick. i don't know if it's a psychological thing but after the treatment, i could never bring myself to finish one stick. i tried, i really did.

and i loved the idea of smoking, damn it. haha. initially, i opted to go for the treatment 'cos we all know how smoking will eventually take a toll on your physical health, but in all honesty, i have always confided in cigarettes. it was there through my ups and downs. haha. maybe mentally, i'm not prepared, but i'm kinda feeling it after almost 2 decades of being a chimney. haha.

cheong and I, with great encouragement and support from hannah and reymee, decided to take that bold step last week. it was tough initially. it's just too much of a mental mindfuck struggle. especially when i enjoyed smoking, haha.

cheong is doing so much better than I. I'm at this transition and it's even harder at this point. at this current stage, i feel lousy when people around me is smoking and i'm just dying for a stick, but when i actually take one, i can't never bring myself to finish it after a puff or 2. weird huh. haha.

so far, this time around, i actually feel like puking after a few puffs. haha. i sure hope this last, and it's not just another attempt in trying to quit. but if i ever do go back to it, oh well, haha... it was fun while it lasted. haha.

i think i'll celebrate this and congratulate myself by smoking a stick. haha. nah, kidding. worth the laugh though. the irony. LOL.is my doctor hot or what? haha...who wouldn't wanna quit smoking with a doctor like that?


my driving inspiration

i kinda like the 2nd generation mazda 6. haha. in comparison with the camry and the accord.:) hmm~ i likes. it's a little smaller than both the other comparisons though, but it sure hell looks better. besides, every tom dick and harry out there is driving a camry or an accord. haha. not exactly my dream car, but if i'm gonna have to change a car and spend another 5-7 years of committing in an instalment plan, i'd rather something like that.
this is the front,rear and side exterior profile of it. sexay and hot isn't it. haha.


new year resolution

this year's resolution is not to have any resolutions! i'm pretty sure this year i'll be able to achieve my resolution. haha.


time after time

happy new year to everyone!! i hope you all had a blast. i just chilled my night. haha. after living for 30 years, the new year's kinda lose its reasons for celebrating and partying. i mean, there's always another year ahead, and after a few decades, it's kinda senseless and superficial. i'd rather have some personal quality time, or just to have some catching up time with really close ones. things that are more worthwhile la if you know what i mean.

erm, let's reminisce and do a recap before we move forward. haha. last year was just amazing! yes, i'm being cynical. LOL. been helluva ride, it's like watching a movie fast forwarded. and i've certainly learned much throughout. especially on people, trust, and other matters of the heart. i'd like to believe that i have a strong heart, and i really thank God that i can actually afford these lessons; emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.

but it's my doing la. i saw it coming even much before. i allowed it given the time. not anymore.

i wanna thank some for making me the sceptic these days. they taught me how to hold back and contain. :) i'm prepared to walk the road ahead now. the one thing i like about getting hurt too often, you move on much faster and better the more you get it. haha~

guess cyndi lauper was right, time after time.