use to be
everyone has their ghosts. some choose to hide them in the closet, and some try figuring them out. i have mine, just as you have yours. if anything at all, i'm all good being just me. i feel so fortunate doing what i do, and being who i am. we are all fine, with our little chipped ends.
someone asked me last night, why am i so close, yet i'm never. i replied, "my dear, i've been messed up a long time ago, and there's a hole where my heart should be. some things are broken inside and i just don't work that way anymore." for now, i'm good where i stand. my heart is cold, but it keeps me safe. i envy my dearest friends who are all married and attached. they seem happy. i use to be. i wish i am too, but i'm too tired to do anything about it, ever. it's so ironic. i would like to have someone in my life too, who wouldn't, but i'm just so afraid at the thought of getting into a relationship. i don't wanna take any more chances. took one too many, and went straight to jail without passing go, and not collecting 200.
i have been trying to just go out, start dating again, but it never ends well. either that, or i just couldn't keep going at it. i would like to blame it on my work or the age, but truth is, i'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. i'd probably have to fix that hole and resolve my ghosts first, but i'm too tired to give a fuck. maybe in time, i'll find myself falling in love, but i'm sure it won't be any time soon. i'll take it as it comes. i've got some straightening out to do on my own. well, either way, life still goes on. oh bugga.
6 comments:
good things come to those who wait
and great things come to those who wait for what the ask. :)
aijoo, then you should have waited some more la my dear. :P
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA
sometimes, its better to wait than to rush into things u're unsure of as it would have been more painful. don't worry lah, you will meet your special someone, we may not marry them or spend the entire lifetime with them but they will be there for u regardless.
Very well written *hat off*
Good things happen when you least expect, however, the problem is, when it happens, do you dare to take the risk of getting your heart broken, once again?
yea hushie, i have a few of those in my life, and you are certainly one of them. i call them my special task force. haha.
lynn, thanks, i'm really glad you think so. well, i guess the next girl(if i ever do) would know how special she is when i ever do take that chance no?
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