taknak!

it has been a week since i last smoke. i mean to actually inhale a whole fucking stick. i don't know if it's a psychological thing but after the treatment, i could never bring myself to finish one stick. i tried, i really did.

and i loved the idea of smoking, damn it. haha. initially, i opted to go for the treatment 'cos we all know how smoking will eventually take a toll on your physical health, but in all honesty, i have always confided in cigarettes. it was there through my ups and downs. haha. maybe mentally, i'm not prepared, but i'm kinda feeling it after almost 2 decades of being a chimney. haha.

cheong and I, with great encouragement and support from hannah and reymee, decided to take that bold step last week. it was tough initially. it's just too much of a mental mindfuck struggle. especially when i enjoyed smoking, haha.

cheong is doing so much better than I. I'm at this transition and it's even harder at this point. at this current stage, i feel lousy when people around me is smoking and i'm just dying for a stick, but when i actually take one, i can't never bring myself to finish it after a puff or 2. weird huh. haha.

so far, this time around, i actually feel like puking after a few puffs. haha. i sure hope this last, and it's not just another attempt in trying to quit. but if i ever do go back to it, oh well, haha... it was fun while it lasted. haha.

i think i'll celebrate this and congratulate myself by smoking a stick. haha. nah, kidding. worth the laugh though. the irony. LOL.is my doctor hot or what? haha...who wouldn't wanna quit smoking with a doctor like that?